shifts

There's something therapeutic about good conversation.

Whether it's with your mother or your friend, you find out more about yourself with every dialogue. I've become increasingly aware of my desire to make my own path, to be my own person, to make my own impressions- and having the backing of some special people makes the journey even more beautiful.

It is interesting to look back over the past two years and see the decisions and situations that have shaped the path thus far. Some have been frightening and unsure while others have been so clear I might have tried to see straight through them. Regardless, life is not the same as I had envisioned and I thank Him for seeing to that. I don't work the job I thought I wanted and I don't fit the mold I thought I wanted to be in. I am less cynical and more open to listen. I have grown closer to the two people that spent the first 17 years of my life tirelessly teaching me how to live and love independently. I have surrounded myself with guys who are striving to be confident men of character. I am chasing after a young lady who has shown me another side of grace and keeps me running hard. I am coming into myself. I am coming into freedom.

In life there are tremendous shifts- they take us to places that we may not have gone before, only to find what we've been wanting all along. Just try to keep your balance...

the bubble

What is so irrelevant about Christians and their churches today? Is it the service format? Is it the denomination? Is it the t-shirts, bumper stickers and corny messages? I think the issue goes much deeper.

In the midst of attempting to be relevant and engaging to the culture around, we're changing the wrong things. We're setting up phenomenal experiences, marketing our services toward "the lost" and making our churches less and less traditional and uptight. Yet, nothing is really changing. Drawing people into the Christianized sub-culture is not having an radical effect on their hearts and minds. This proves the fact that people do not want to conform to a lifestyle defined by cultural judgements and presumptions. They want and need to understand love. We could be taking Christ to the streets, loving and spending time with people without an agenda attatched to our conversations. But instead, have we traded the investments of true relationship for the quick-fix lifestyle change that is only a reflection of the current consumerist mindset? It's so much easier to bring people into this "safe" and enlosed environment, and I dare say that we'd be happy never darkening the places that need us most. The "come-to-us" philosophy sucks. It doesn't work. The Christian life should not be spent building churches and giving to further the "kingdom of churchianity". Maybe if we stopped being so involved in church activities, we'd get a better picture of reality and what Jesus is doing the lives of people outside of the Institution. I'm not talking about cleaning up everyone's act, it's about pouring our hearts out to others so that their's may be changed to think and love differently. (not about the actions).

I may sound a little mad, but I'm really not. I see these things in myself more than anyone. Although I'm not a big fan of the Christian group, "Avalon", a verse from one of their older songs has struck me:

Wait a minute, if we say we love them
why are we not in it? why we run and hide?
entertain a stranger, maybe entertain an angel
the danger is if our worlds don't collide

Evangelism is not a separate task, nor is it a rallied cause. Christ' love should come out naturally as we live daily. We don't have to an agenda or support the latest Christian fad to feel like we're doing our "job". This way of making things prettier and safer without being truthful about the reality of life makes us irrelevant and unconcerned with the world around us.

In his book "Radical Reformission", Mark Driscoll states:

Rules, regulations and the pursuit of outward morality are ultimately incapable of preventing sin. They can only, at best, rearrange the flesh and get people to stop drinking, smoking, and having sex, only to start being proud of their morality. Jesus' love for us and our love for him are, frankly, the only tethers that will keep us from abusing our freedom, yet they will enable us to venture as far into the culture and into relationships with lost people as Jesus did, because we go with him.


Let us love others with perseverance and openness.

summer safety

Well, not exactly...

With the first few week of summer resting on assured plans and blueprints for the future, the coming weeks have only promised uncertainty. Some major changes are taking place, leaving me with more questions to ponder. I don't particularly understand why I have spent the past two years in a particular state of life only to watch it slowly lose its fire in my heart. But now, I'm heading down the other path that sheds an obscure light, leaving minute trails of hope with every glimmer of Grace that I receive. There's no destination, no map, just me holding on to what I know is True. I know that I will get through, just not on my terms or ideas. Thankfully, I am surrounded by love and the support I need to make it.

I will be stretched to love more, fight more and hope more than I ever have.

morph

My life is changing...pretty fast.

Everything I had in mind a year ago is no longer in mind.

I like it.

Mute Math=unbelievable.

bay and coffee

Summer is here!

I'm on the Eastern Shore for the next few months- and it's gonna be krunk city.

oh yes.

pitch black without a sound...

Well, the semester is winding down and I will soon be released into the summer. The culmination of a junior year with new friendships and experiences will come to an end, leaving me to rethink, regroup and most importantly relax.

You see....
I've been really busy.

Not the 8-5 kind of busy...

the I don't know what to do with myself kind of busy.

too busy for friends
too busy to accomplish simple tasks
too busy to take a breath and
exhale...

Ok, so I'm obviously not filling my every minute with tasks and chores, but I have to grown to be very fond of the time that I spend alone.

I typically refuse silence. It is something that makes me uncomfortable and jittery. But lately, I've begun to see the need for it. I love people and spend most of my day in the presence of others, making conversation and listening. But some of my best moments have happened during quiet night drives across the bay, or sitting in my room when the roommates have gone. It makes me consider the tough questions. It causes me to re-prioritize. It lets me think about the people I care for the most. It lets me exhale...

Thank Jesus for silence.

He always got away. You'd find Him in a crowd, then He would escape. Not that He was the sneakster or anything, but it seems He knew the importance of solitude. It's like He didn't need anyone's validation. It's like He didn't need to be the center of attention. It's like he knew...
He knew that His time was coming.
He wanted to be with His Father.
He wanted to share Himself with his closest friends- the ones who would sleep through the night watch, the one who would betray Him, the one who would deny Him...thrice.

He desired the silence...
after all, He created it.

So I'm not leaving for the life of a monk, but I am convinced that I must embrace the silence.
Life will be all the more special because of it.