careful when you open...

Intimacy scares most of us more than we think.

When it comes down to it, the idea of allowing someone else into our deepest being seems anything short of a death wish. It's that fear of opening a door that anyone, let alone yourself, has to actually see what's inside that keeps us running and hiding from reality. Behind these often unopened, rusty-hinged doors lie failures, mistakes, what if's and shouldn't have's, but also dreams, ambitions, I hope's and I will's. These things that tend to define who we are and what we've become will also play to our greatest advantage or disadvantage in who we will be. That is, unless we are courageous enough to reach inside and open these parts of ourselves to someone else.

A hot stove is a child's stinging reminder of what it feels like to be burned. And misplaced intimacy reminds us why we never wanted to be known in the first place. Maybe when they know you, they will run; or maybe if you actually become comfortable with who you are, others won't be. Maybe you have no easy antidote for the pain of the past- and it just keeps eating away. Yet, the only solution is to open. Open yourself to the freedom of release. Open yourself to the freedom of being known. Open yourself to love. The Creator has not waited for you to reveal these unknown things, for He already knows- and still loves with undeniable grace. And it is not by chance that this dynamic is to be reflected in our deepest earthly relationships- this pure idea that we can be known and loved by another human.

I am convinced that the obscure human need of knowing and being known correlates directly with our ability to love and be loved. I can't possibly lock the doors of my heart and expect to give unselfishly to someone else, nor can I run and hide from who I am and expect a deep, abiding affection in return. Thankfully, opening hasn't been a stinging reminder, but a gentle revelation of grace, trust and honesty from those I love most. It is with this revelation that I continue my journey, not alone in a world of uncertainty, but with the glorious realization that I can be fully known- and loved too.