dream

Somewhere in the deep recesses of twenty-something, you can't find your dreams. It happens about the time you walk across that platform and grasp the most expensive headline you'll ever read. You are thrown into a world of ovation, gifts and the satisfying sense of achievement. You have just spent your entire preliminary adult life being informed about the world, its processes and earning a healthy roadmap for your future. You get your first real job and a roof over your head. Things are taking off. But, you soon find that achievement being replaced by anxiety. And your life is no longer planned out for you by your parents, teachers or a pastor. It's kind of fun- but really scary. You always thought you would start out in the dream job with the big bucks. Instead, you're working a job you don't even like while hoping you'll be able to buy a ring for your potential fiance in the next 10 years. You no longer have a life goal because you've accomplished everything set for you in your childhood. There you stand in a field of opportunity as it begins to rain. And it seems like there's nowhere to cover your head.

I didn't see any of it coming. I had both idealistic and unassuming expectations of the future before I finished college. I wouldn't have thought the sunshine of my future would get lost in the clouds. But lucky for me, I married a lady who just can't let me settle in the chair of mediocrity. So, back I go to square one where my slate is clear. I am learning how to dream again. I am reclaiming the vivid boy-like imagination that has characterized my world since the day I entered my mother's arms. I am taking time to develop my creativity and turn the conceptual into something tangible. I am venturing to be not a replica but avant-garde.

Looking to make something happen...

called

What does it mean to be "called" into ministry?

As I previously posted, I remember feeling that "call" when I was younger, not really understanding what it entailed. I thought it would be really cool to spend the rest of my life in a church, getting ready for Sunday. In my mind, ministry was a "high-calling", one that would certainly earn God's favor and blessings. "Jesus likes to bump elbows with the deacons and talk football with the pastors after church," I thought. It was the world that I had both found my niche' and considered to be my future.

Yet, I have realized that a better understanding is needed. Ministry is not restricted to the building and it not defined by a title. It is not only the staff or pastor's job to administer Christ, it is mine and yours. It knows no boundary and is not hindered by a budget. It is a living, breathing response to a world of despair.

As hard as I try, I cannot store away my opinions on the institutional church. I get tired of all the hoopla from the progressive end and the seeming disconnect from the hidebound. I loathe seeing a sermon series named after a popular movie and my ears are ringing from the multi-delay sounds of Jesu2s music. (some will catch that) I mean, come on, people aren't that impressed with the institutional church's forgery of culture. Often, I'm embarrassed to what goes on in the Christian world we have created. Yet, I find myself smack-dab in the middle of it, laughing at the same pastor-ish jokes and watching the new Catalyst videos. I have a giga-delay on my guitar pedal-board and other popular pedals leading to a nice "Christiantone"- coined to me by a local fifteen year-old. (you can't get too crazy in the sanctuary) And sometimes I just think I'm the coolest church person I know.

Anyway, I'm not sure I have a point or cool tagline. So, I'll leave it at that.